Everyone we love is going to die someday, including us. This has got to be one of the realist, saddest and harshest reality for us to accept and process. Sometimes just that thought alone can be overwhelming to the point that we can cry and feel heartbroken just thinking about it.

For many of us death comes unexpectedly and in those times we can become consumed with so much emotion that we don’t even know how to begin to process the news. Many people do not know how to handle this sudden change in their life and furthermore the grieving process can prove to be a very difficult one especially if you’re surrounded by persons who do not express themselves properly or have a hard time accepting that other people have a different processing speed than them. This can result in added frustration and anger, don’t worry we get it.

A loved one could have passed 24 seconds ago, 24 hours ago, 24 days ago,or even  24 years ago, the timeline doesn’t quite matter because for some people the effect of this loss and the pain they experience can be as bad as when they just heard of the death. If you’re experiencing grief right now, I just want you to know that I love you and that you will be ok and my dear and I’m soooo sorry that you’re hurting right now. I pray for your comfort and peace.

I want to let you know about this beautiful quote from Queen Elizabeth the 2nd that confirms that the grief we experience is as a result of having experienced something beautiful first. It states “Grief is the price we pay for love” whenever you think of your lost loved one, keep in mind that your heart worked, remember them for everything beautiful that they were and remember that even the foundation of your pain is love and love is exactly what is going to help you to  get through this difficult time.

UNDERSTANDING YOUR EMOTIONS CAN HELP YOU TO COPE WITH YOUR GRIEF

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote a book entitled On Death and Dying in the year 1969. In this book she introduced what is known as the 5 Stages of Grief. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  Although grieving is a personal process and grief does not affect any one person the same, we more or less may experience one or more of these stages. Though common, there is no particular order for which they need to be processed in order to be effective. In fact people often go through a particular stage, or all several times before any true acceptance can take place.  Check out the breakdown below.

STAGE 1- DENIAL

• During this stage you may be in a state of disbelief and can even have numbed feelings.

STAGE 2-ANGER

• During this stage you may lash out at God/higher power/universe, or even the deceased.

STAGE 3-BARGAINING 

• Here you try to reason with God/Higher power/universe. You’re willing to do anything they ask if they can bring back your loved one grant a relief from the pain you’re feeling.

STAGE 4-DEPRESSION

• During this time you may be in a state of isolation and/or loneliness during which time you process and reflect on the loss.

STAGE 5-ACCEPTANCE

• This is a very gradual acceptance of the new way of life and a feeling of possibility in the future.

We hope this information has helped you to identify which stage of grief you are in and our hope for you is that you can get to stage 5 and reclaim your happiness along with the ability to continue living with your lost love tucked away in your heart.